Dialogue-less

WINTER ~ the Message on the Ground

She was absent three times in a role this week. Was she avoiding me? After what I had told her, of me being the cause of her sister’s death, I doubted that she would not. My guilt felt even heavier, only to be amplified by the piercing cold around me. Not even four layers of clothes could provide me with any warmth. I hated it like this. . . . . .

PANG!

“Cheer up, mate!”

An impact laded behind me, followed by those words. From how they sounded, I could already figure out who it was. He was standing there, his smile, his way of “greeting” were as old-fashioned as always.

“Oh, Natsu, what’s up?” I said. The response was brief, as if I did not even bother to speak to him.

“You look down. Be lively a little bit, will you?”

“No, can’t do.”

“And, if she doesn’t come, why don’t you go find her? Be a man, mate!” Natsu suggested, now clapping my shoulder.

Oh, why had I not thought of this before? Oh, Natsu! A friend in need is a friend indeed! It was just the moment that I wanted to ask for Ayaa’s whereabouts that Natsu immediately answered me.

“I think she visits the sunflower garden more often nowadays, you know, after last autumn. Although those flowers seem to wither in times like now. Try your luck after the school!”

I just nodded. Sunflower garden, eh? I guessed it must be the one she showed me last spring. A torrent stirred in my stomach as I hoped to meet her there.

The final bell rang and I quickly started looking the paths leading to the garden. It was quite difficult to do so, as most the roads were covered with thick, white snow. The immense cold as well as the difficulty to search for the roads worsened my thoughts, somehow.

As I picked my way through the snow-covered roads, I finally found the way I was looking for. There on the ground, footsteps were already visible, hinting that my luck would be fair. But as I observed further, those footsteps seemed too impossible to just belong to one person. I made haste, imagination running wild.

“EAT THIS!”

A sight caught me frozen; five figures were all punching, kicking that one timid figure, a figure which looked really familiar. Strange thing was, that figure didn’t seem to be fighting back. As I took another step forward, I thought I stepped on something, and it broke. It was a pair of glasses, the same one I broke last spring. The one I broke last spring? AYAA!

Within five seconds, I reached the glasses, put them in my bag, hid it safely and dashed towards the scene.

Only with a heavy punch on a face that I halted my rush. Then I turned, realizing that the other four figures were charging towards me. I ducked and delivered a head butt on the stomach of one of them, and, in split second, turned again to kick the one beside him, right on his left cheek. I was never a good fighter, given my weak body structure. But fury and rage seemed to catalyze my skills. A huge landed behind my neck and it was required to beat me. I lied on the ground, finally defeated.

Crimson blood was flowing across the snowed ground, but it was not mine. Shocks stroke me again. The blood came from another person lying not far from me. She was not moving at all, as if she were dead. I struggled to get up for second round but was beaten down again. Tears began to flow, thinking of how much I wanted to protect her, yet I could not.

“Curse you, sons of bi…” thundered a voice, though it came from quite a distance. Everything started to become blur, yet I struggled to reach her, yet again my body failed me. I saw nothing but darkness now, but still had not lost my hearing.

The noises of people being beaten up became clearer and only a few minutes later I heard footsteps approach me.

“Hang in there, mate. Oh, Ayaa, she’s bleeding badly. I’ll call ambulance now. Promise me, HANG IN THERE!”

This was all I could hear and then, every parts of my body failed me, slowly falling into a slumber.

“I didn’t know you sleep like a pig, mate.”

My ears seemed to be functioning again. Bit by bit, I began regaining consciousness and, as I opened my eyes, I saw Natsu.

“You were beaten up into a pulp, mate! Luckily I made it on time, lest you two would have been dead. Those scums were trying to destroy the graves at that garden. All three of them, I say! No wonder Ayaa fought back. Ouch, Ayaa, she’s not in good shape. And then…” Natsu kept on mumbling.

I was not, at all, paying attention on him until he mentioned Ayaa. I got up, only to be pierced by pain all over my body. I tried to resist but failed again.

“Ayaa, where’s her?”

“Here.”

And yes, there she was near the entrance to my ward. Her wounds seemed more serious than mine, as there were bandages all over her face and body. Strange thing was, she could still stand up and walk to my ward. Realizing her arrival, Natsu departed, to buy some food he said.

“So, u broke my glasses again.” Her eyes narrowed as she talked just like she always did. I was relieved that nothing had changed yet.

“It couldn’t be helped then…”

“Now you owe me quite a fortune you know,” now I could sense killing aura surrounding her. Oh, her menacing presence, just like always.

“Hey, Ayaa, about Ayaka…”

“She’s gone.” Ayaa replied even before I could finish my question. “And you didn’t lead her to her death. Stop having that stupid thought.”

Awed, my eyes opened wide, mouth fell agape, still unable to comprehend what I had just heard. She had forgiven me.

“But you’ll to repay me when we’re out from here.”

“Oh, I know how to do that, you know.” I suggested, making an expression that seemed to be toying with her.

“With what?”

“A date. At the sunflower garden. After we get out from here.’

She did not really respond, only being silent. She did not nod or shake her head, either. It was then that she immediately rushed out from my ward, leaving me still confused of what was happening. And that was the one and only time that I had met her for two weeks.

The said day finally came and I departed for the garden early as possible. Thinking of the consequences of being late frightened me. As I arrived, she was not there yet, but I discovered something on the snowed ground. There writings on it. They were written as;-

Kitty,

It’s pleasant to know you but I’m sorry I can’t attend this date. I’m now adopted. I have to leave with them for Canada. About my broken glasses, try to keep them in good shape. I’ll come back and claim them whenever chance permits me. Help me take care of my parents’ and Ayaka’s graves. My deepest gratitude to what you have done until I became what I am today. I don’t feel empty anymore. Oh, Kitty, and

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-09-12-09-11-05-25-15-21 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Truthfully,

Ayaa.

I sighed at the message on the ground. The snow seemed to be soaked with waters flowing from my eyes.

“Yeah, I know. Same to you, Ayaa,”

FALL ~ A Hope and A Truth

The current of the waves was amplifying with every passing second, as I was helplessly pulled and pushed in the middle of the sea. Every now and then, my swimming skills would fail me and I would sink. Water rushed into my body through my ears, nose and mouth, almost filling up my lungs. Yet I struggled for this little life of mine. Just as I lost hope, a strong force held my arm and I stopped flowing. Such force was powerful enough that it was at par with the current of the raging tides. I tried to search for the source of the force and found it; it was a female lifeguard. She was grabbing my arm very tightly.

I tried to identify the face of my savior. As soon as I did, I was surprised. The lifeguard shared a striking resemblance with a person I had already known. The only difference was that she looked a bit older.

“Ayaa?”

Reality forced open my eyes. My heart was pumping hard, blood running fast. At the same time, I was as if bathing in sweat, breathing more frequently than I was supposed to be. Only then that I realised ------ I was staring at a different ceiling.

The ceiling was pearl white, a contrast with my room. I felt a slight pain at my right hand and there was a needle pierced on my wrist with the end of it being connected to one end of a long, clear tube. The other end of the tube was again connected to a liquid-filled plastic bag hanging on a rod just beside my bed. Aye, now I remembered. I was suspended into ward a few days ago. Possible case of dengue fever, or so they said.

Pushing the white blanket aside, I glanced at the window nearby. The morning sun had just risen from the horizon and shinning majestically. The leaves on many trees had lost their greenness, altogether turning into a complex mixture of scarlet, crimson, yellow and orange.

“Who now who has no house, will not build one.

Who now is alone, will remain so for long,

Will wake, and read, and write long letters,

And back and forth on the boulevards,

Will restlessly wander, while the leaves blow.

Herbstagg, Rainer Maria Rilke.”

I delighted in the melancholic melody of the poem that, for a moment, I forgot the person who was reciting it. The person was standing right beside the door. She was wearing spectacles, and behind them, small, watery eyes were visible. Her strawberry red lips had just stopped moving. Somehow, I was relieved that she came.

“It’s a shame to celebrate your birthday at a hospital.” said Ayaa, approaching my bed.

“It’s not, with you here.”

Her eyes narrowed again and the same feeling stirred in my stomach. The same, cold, menacing yet, mysterious feeling that I had since last spring.

“What are you sick of, by the way?”

“Oh, it’s a very serious sickness. A deadly one. Aye, fatal I mean.”

“Heart disease?”

“Nay. It’s way more serious than that.”

“Cancer? Kidney malfunctions?”

I shook my head rapidly. Ayaa’s expression now looked questioned, wondering what my answer would be. It was actually quite fun to make her look like this and so I chuckled a bit.

“I am, Ma’am Ayaa,” I said, now staring right at her eyes. “Love sick.”

At first, she was about to blush, but then she was trying very hard to hide that feeling. Moments later, her chilly expression returned.

“Never heard of it before. I have prepared two gifts for you. First, give me your hand.” demanded Ayaa.

I did as I was told. As I raised my hand and showed her my palm, she placed something that felt small, round but solid on it. I examined it. It was a mini-badge with Masked Rider Black figure carved on it.

“Now the next gift.” Ayaa announced as she checked her watch then rushed out from the room. I was left there, mouth fell agape. This was her gift?

My mind was left playing with confusion when I heard the door was opened again. Two figures entered, again familiar faces, although I had not seen them for a long time, not even after I was submitted to hospital.

“Hello, Kite.” they greeted.

Had I not rubbed my eyes thrice, I would not have believed it myself. Yes, my eyes did not mistake me. They were standing right in front of me. They were smiling warmly in front of me. They were spending time with me, no longer with their business.

“F-Fa-Father? M-Mo-Mother?”

Immediately, I went down from the bed and hugged both of them tightly. Ah, I could finally feel the warmth I had longed for. Such warmth felt so comfortable, it felt like I was ------alive. No longer able to bear it, tears had finally stream across my cheeks.

“Thanks, Pa. Thanks, Ma.”

“It’s okay, Kite. I should have done this ages ago.” Pa answered, his hand slowly rubbing behind me. “You should thank that young lady, you know. She was the one who told us about your sufferings. I’m really sorry for not paying attention on you all this while, Kite.”

Oh, Ayaa! This was her gift. I searched for any possible signs of her. And there, through a window on the door, I saw her face. It was a mixed expression. There was a part of it which looked envious, while another looked happy, relaxed, calm, somehow. The thought of her being an orphan suddenly came across me, then my deep empathy for her surfaced. She must have missed the warmth I was feeling right now.

After my parents decided to drop by Grandma’s house, I managed to catch up with Ayaa, who was now walking steadily at the garden. The chilly wind was quite strong, bringing along leaves from trees as it blew. When I approached her, I noticed that she quickly rub her eyes dry. Was she crying? Aye, upon facing her, I saw her eyes. They were red. It had always been my habit to keep lollipops in pockets, even when I was sick. I reached for one of them and handed it to her. However, she saw through this and before long, I felt an impact hit my left cheek. She punched me!

“Wh-What was……”

“For treating me your lollipop. And this……” said Ayaa just before I could finish asking. Surprisingly, she was now changing her stance, she was about to strike again! I did not know why but my legs were not obeying me, as if they had rooted to the ground. I closed my eyes.

The strange thing was I no longer felt any hard impact on either side of my cheek. My eyes opened up wide and they remained in such state for a few minutes. What I saw later, I would never forget it for the rest of my life. What I saw……

Ayaa’s lips approached my forehead, finally landed a soft contact on the surface. Then she looked into my eyes. Coldness was absent, they were redder than before and they could melt even the hardest diamond.

“And that, for stealing……” muttered Ayaa, hesitated, searching for the right words, her cheeks blushing. “……my heart.”

“Ehhhhhhhh……?”

For the next few minutes, there was a dead silence. We were gazing at each other. Imaginations were running wild in my mind and my heart was pumping at a much higher frequency, as if it were going to blow any moment from now.

“Hey, Ayaa, actually I……”

BANGGG…SPLASHHH…

A water-filled balloon made its impact on Ayaa’s head, water streaming down from every possible edge from her head. I was going to laugh when a piece of bitter memory shot through my head. With Ayaa’s current condition, she looked just like the person I had dreamt earlier. My head ached, events which took place years ago began to form in my mind. A shocking truth froze me.

“Kite, what were you going to tell me?”

“Ay… Ayaa, your sister, Ayaka, we… went missing… because… because… BECAUSE…”

I hated it very much to tell her but my guilt was too heavy to keep silent. My whole body shook.

“BECAUSE OF ME!”

SUMMER ~ the Day They Watched Fireworks

Ayaa Kito looked a lot different now. Her long, ebony black hair was no longer covering half her face instead it was tied behind into a fine ponytail, thus revealing her face in whole. Her small, watery eyes, when her spectacles were put on, were even livelier than before. Along with her pinkish cheeks and strawberry red lips, paleness was now totally absent from her complexion.

I was so mesmerized by such beauty, only to be snapped out of it by a piercing feeling all over my body. At first, it was only piercing then it was burning, amplifying the production of endless sweat. And it was heat. Oh, an immense one. Even the fans, which were turned full blast, and widely-opened windows failed to make me any colder. I reached for any possible books, moving them in a gesture that would at least give me a breeze.

I felt a hand touched my shoulder and turned around. A male classmate, of my height, was standing there.

“Hey it’s summer!” the classmate said, now stretching both his arms into midair, eyes closed, smiling. He was smiling so hard that as if edges of his lips were approaching his ears.

“Eh…?”

“WHAT? How a rude response is that! You were supposed to say “Aye! It’s summer! Let’s have fun!”! “he replied, in a rather higher tune though. His eyebrows were focused until they formed a quite solid “V” shape while his mouth was opened so wide that it looked like a big “O” shape.

“Huh? What are you talking about? I don’t even know you yet!”

And his expression changed again, spontaneously. This time it looked like a rather disappointed one. He stared at the ceiling above, and as if something just came across his mind, he glanced at me again.

“Oh, I haven’t introduced myself yet. Name’s Natsu. N – A – T – S – U. I’m the monitor, BEST MONITOR IN DA’ WORLD!” he yelled, showing me a thumb up and smiling again, revealing his glimmering white teeth. “Hence, I carry a heavy burden to make sure each and everyone in this class is happy!”

The “heavy burden” and “happy” were spoken with a much higher tune than the rest of the sentence.

Though still in shock with his character, I managed to observe him better. His brownish hair was short and spiky, pointing at every possible direction, eyebrows were thick and as black as coal and eyes were quite large. Surprisingly, there were bandages pasted all over his face, and a vertical permanent scar, of about five centimeters long, was visible across his left eye. Although he was of my height, his shoulders were way broader than mine, while his overall structure looked quite muscular.

“Here’s what you have to do, mate. The day after tomorrow, there will be a fireworks display at the beach, an annual event for summer. It is also a tradition for us to ask and accompany girls to that event. This is it! What are you waiting for? Go, make your move! NOW!” there he went again, yelling with all the volume his throat could afford. The weird thing was all his shoutings and yellings did not seem to attract attention from the whole class. Maybe he did that all the time, becoming a normal scene in the class. “Aye, the rest is up to you, mate. Best of luck, I bet you’ll need it. See you! “ and before I could respond, he was already off doing his so-called being-happy-during-summer responsibility.

“Fireworks eh…” stumbling across my mind. It was very obvious of who I was going to ask to the festival. I tried to stare at her again, but in vain. She was not at her seat. Eyes closed, sighing, frustration grew in me.

“Why did you keep looking me?” came a voice. Weird, it was quite familiar. I opened my eyes, only to be startled by the stern figure in front of me. It was Ayaa.

“Oh, Ayaa…It’s…It’s nothing…No big deal…”

Ayaa’s small eyes were focusing at me as I finished talking. The way she did this, at least for me, was pretty interesting; literally, the eyes looked fierce, being able to pierce through those who were weak-spirited, and I could feel the coldness surrounding them. At the same time, they proved to be very mysterious. Since the events where I broke her spectacles, I was already burning with curiosity to solve such mystery.

“You’d better be honest.”

“…Alright. I want to ask you to the fireworks festival, if that’s fine with you that is…” I said, though vividly. A partial comfort flew through me.

“When? Where?”

“The day after tomorrow. At the beach.”

The moment I spoke the word “beach”, Ayaa’s face turned pale again. Her once narrowed eyes grew large, as if being shocked by intense surprise while her lips started muttering unknown words. It was also then that I realised her whole body was shaking. What had I done wrong again?

“H…Hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to go. Just stay calm.” I said, now standing right in front of her, ready to take any possible means. From this distance, I could finally hear that she was mumbling the words “ayaka…beach…ayaka…” .

Then as soon as I tried to approach her closer, she moved, her back facing me and rushed to her seat. Upon reaching for her bag, she hurried out from the class. I was standing there, still trying to figure out what was wrong.

“Oh, sweet…” I sighed at myself.

The day for the fireworks festival finally arrived. I could not believe myself that I still prepared for today, although I knew that Ayaa could not possibly go to the festival with me. Perhaps it was a fool of me to ask her, though somehow, I did not regret it.

By the time I arrived at the beach, it was already crowded with people. Even some students who looked three to two years younger than me were walking in pairs. Annoyed, I tried to find look out for some stalls nearby and treated myself with a bowl of ramen. I even picked up a strawberry lollipop as dessert.

It did not take too long before there came announcements stating that the fireworks would start soon. I was more annoyed by this but there was still something that prevented me from just going home. I waited until almost everyone went to the seashore before I would follow up. Had I not checked three times, I would not believe my eyes either. There, at one corner of the stalls, stood a figure. Aye, it was Ayaa.

“…I thought you weren’t coming.” I said, as soon as I reached by her side.

She looked at me. Her eyes narrowed, and then faced the ground.

“I didn’t say I won’t come. It’s just…”

“Just what? Tell me!” I demanded, ignoring the outcome of my harsh attitude.

Now, she stared at me. She remained in such state for a few seconds before she started talking again. A funny idea of her trying to read my mind came across me.

“I don’t like coming to a beach.”

“Why?”

“Ayaka, my sister went missing at a beach.”

A feeling of deep compassion stirred in my stomach. Empathy was running wild deep within, I wanted so much to ease her pain, yet I was so helpless. She lost her parents, then her sister. Perhaps solitude was her one and only friend all this long.

“She used to work as a lifeguard at a beach. But after the 2004 tsunami incident, I no longer accept news from her. I fear so much that I would find her body at a beach. By staying away from coast, at least I can still hope for her survival, and if she really dies, the impact won’t be too powerful.”

“Running away, huh?”

She looked at me passionately as I finished speaking. Bit by bit, flares of anger built up on her expression.

“You were, are and will still run away from accepting your sister’s cruel fate! I thought you were strong when you saw through me the last time I broke your spectacles!”

She made gestures to lash back at me but I acted just before she could do that.

“I know I won’t understand. But I know the solitude that has been haunting you all this long! Accept the fate, not denying it. You’ll feel better.” I explained in an almost-yelling tone.

She said nothing. She was facing the ground and when I realised, there were some round, circular wet spots on the ground, increasing in amount with every passing seconds. She was crying, I presumed.

“Oh, sweet...Did I go too hard?” I scolded myself.

PEEE…BOOOM…PEEE…BOOOM…

Jolts of lights were shot and exploded into colourful sparks in the sky. The patterns they exploded into varied as well. Some looked like blossoming flowers, rising dragons while others, spiral spheres.

Amidst the show, I could see, though vividly, that Ayaa had stopped crying and was trying to enjoy the show. I reached my pocket for a spare strawberry lollipop and gave it to her.

“Here, take this. Stop crying, will you? You’re spoiling your pretty face.”

“Kite, have you grown tired of living?” she warned me, her whole expression went back to how it was supposed to be; cold and ominous. I could hear her fists tightened as I was going to joke further. The idea of how she defeated two gangsters all by herself sealed my mouth tightly.

“Oh, hey, may this humble me steal something from you?”

“What?” she questioned with such gaze that would petrify me.

Though hesitated for a while, I still said it.

“Your heart.”