COLOURS Again!

YOSH! It's been such a long time since I last updated this blog. Well, it doesn't seem like anyone's reading it anyway. But for those who do read Colours, then my deepest gratitude to you. Cheers. It's just that I'm seating for my STPM right now, so I feel kind of guilty if I don't study. It's not like I really want to. I really hate to fail this STPM, because it's like the "final ticket" for me to get into a university. At least, I hope I can. Well, many people hope I can, and I appreciate all of them. I didn't get to feel like this back then during SPM, so that's why it's so different now. And my deepest apology if I couldn't reply all those sweet wishings. And my deepest gratitude to the very wishings I receive every morning from you. Those few words never fail to burn my spirit. ARIGTOS!

Am I stressed? If it's about my exam now, then I seriously think I am not. Not at all. I don't know why but I never really get stressed when taking exams. That kind of feeling only surfaces when I receive the results. I'm afraid that I'll disappoint you, disapoint Pa and Ma, disapoint Ma'am O, disappoint those who think highly of me. To tell the truth, I'm just a normal human being, and I'm sorry if I never achieve what all you expect.

I think more about my future. What's the use of being a multi-millionaire, but in the end dying all alone in a huge bangalow? What's the use of having a guaranteed job, but no one to share the bliss with? And this is why whenever people say I'm good, deep inside me, I want to give them this wisdom in exchange for their good social influence or their good looks. Yes, good look is important to me. Well, I used to it is not. You see, there was this friend who was so so so so pious and always said that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. Then one day, this friend took pictures with all classmate except that very one. Why? You know why. In the outside, that left aside person lacked something, that being his look. Hell, that really broke my trust. Well, that's that. I can't be who I am not, but I always try to be a better person. And if that offends anyone with any aspects possible, please tell me.

There never friends who willing to ask me to tag along in a trip. And now, those who did ask me, thank you very much. I appreciate all of you. I really do. All of you means a lot to me. All of you never treat me like how I was treated. THANK YOU! THANK YOU in every possible ways!